Punch first, ask questions while punching

by rmonique. 3 Comments

So there’s this thing called personal space on the internet.

And it’s rapidly becoming less of a thing I guess. I know Leigh Alexander wrote a really neat piece on it, that was written sardonically from the POV of a Twitter follower who consistently crosses boundaries and annoys the person they reply to in a flurry of increasingly useless–and oft infuriating–mentions. I’m not gonna link it because while it’s brilliant, it says too much when I have very little to say right now.

I get a lot of tweets. I’m far from an internet celeb, I have like 5.5k followers and I love almost every single one of them. I’m not delusional about my scope and how meaningless I ultimately am. After all, I follow people who get thousands of mentions a day and I see what they go through. But as it goes, in my own little iceberg where I’m mildly known as someone who did something to make LolKing an actual site and possibly has a real life job out of it, I get a lot of tweets at me.

I like a lot of them. It’s cool if you share a link I might like. It’s cool when you find a song. It’s cool if you tell me to feel better or if you ask if I could teach you how to jungle Shyvana. I love that kind of shit. It’s humbling as fuck that someone would care what I, some bad Diamond player, thinks about OGN. And I love that I can be so open to strangers about what champion I just played or what beer I just drank and I can discuss how I should try a new build next game because a Twitter follower gave me one.

But what I really hate–what I am not longer acknowledging past this point, actually–is negativity.

You can always disagree with me politely. In fact, please do. I love to be enlightened. But if it gets snarky, if you insult me, or if you make me uncomfortable…I’m blocking you and I’m not even gonna tell you why. In the past I’ve entertained random debates or discourse; people have talked to me about women’s rights, racism, and even what jungler is strong right now in League of Legends. But I quite honestly always walked away feeling a little invaded, even when it went relatively nicely. The mentions never stopped, a last word never happened, and so I always lost debates on my own Twitter I never intended to start because I went off to do other things. Again, a lot of this is because people use Twitter differently and there is no social norm for tweets set up yet. Some publicize their work, others say a ranked game sucked, and once in a while someone posts something extremely personal. So I get it, some people use them for¬†discussions and I don’t so it confuses me.

Like I said I get it, you want to have a huge discussion with me–but I don’t want to if it’s going to be negative.

Essentially I am completely, irrevocably done with Twitter arguments that get sour. If you can’t treat me like the equal I damn well fucking am (and hey, we should all strive to treat each other as equals), then I don’t have to reply. I don’t owe you because I have more or less followers than you. ¬†You don’t get to tell me I’m sensitive because I chose to say you’re being inappropriate. I don’t have to see your tweets to me if I don’t want to just because you feel I should hear them because I’m so wrong. And if you tell me that I’m being close-minded, I tell you it’s my personal life and personal Twitter. Chill out. Agree to disagree. I’m firmly exercising my right to go back to how it was before when you knew I existed and I had no clue who you were.

While you’re at it, stop being so hostile to complete strangers. It’s not worth it.

Also I think I should include a great example of a SUCCESSFUL dialogue with a person I follow. His name is RF Legendary and he’s a great player I really respect. He told me he loves jungle Shyvana and top Shyvana, implying my jungle Shyvana statement was a little bold. And I totally agree with him and it was super helpful to have a former challenger’s insight. No BS.

However, a NEGATIVE dialogue which inspired this post was two different people replying “don’t you watch OGN” and “No shit” essentially. These are unhelpful, don’t really promote a healthy discussion, and approach it as if you are my superior not equal. If you want to approach it like I am a moron who magically got carried to Diamond and doesn’t even play the game, then you’re out. I’m not even going to look up your credentials because you could be Bronze I or Diamond I, you’re still horrible at human relations.

Got it?

3 Responses to Punch first, ask questions while punching

  1. Jerico Fitzpatrick says:

    I never really understood why anyone would spew negativity for no good reason. I get that it’s the internet and all but to still act like a jerk is beyond me. We are people. We have feelings. That person you’re typing to across the net is real. They don’t deserve to be treated that way. The world is hateful enough as is. Making someone happy goes a lot farther then upsetting them. Sorry for rambling lol. Things like this bother me a lot too.

  2. FlameFlash says:

    It’s a simple matter of people needing to follow Wheaton’s Law: Don’t be a dick.

    I know I accidentally am one occasionally probably, we all probably are from time to time. It’s those trolls on the interwebs who don’t understand they are people and the avatars they’re tweeting at are people too that I find amazing.

    And don’t even get me started on youtube comments. ;)

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