Archive for November, 2012

I’m starting to suspect she likes abuse

by Ashelia. 11 Comments

Following Katie’s post, but expanding it to why there A) aren’t enough women in the gaming industry and also why there B) aren’t enough women gamers in general.

As a “hardcore” gamer and someone with five years in the gaming industry, with the additional qualification of being someone with a pair of breasts, I’ve seen a lot of sexist shit. I’ve also been a part of a lot of it, largely because it became a coping mechanism; it’s not exactly an unknown phenomenon for women to hate other women in order to fit in with the guys. Far from my best moments, but it is what it is.

Anyway, this hashtag on Twitter took on a life of its own, explaining why there are not women in the gaming field and in gaming. And here’s why there aren’t enough of us:

  • Because if people find out I’m a female in a public game in League of Legends, 25% of the time someone hits on me; 25% of the time someone calls me a whore (or another sexist slur); and 50% of the time people don’t care. It should not be 50/50.
  • Because you are a e-slut until proven otherwise.
  • Because my old boss from my former company freely called me a bitch. If I didn’t like a proposal? I was being bitchy. If I questioned anything? I was too headstrong and too much of a bitch.
  • Because I’m afraid to admit that–because I’m scared it makes me look bad, like I caused it or that maybe I am a “bitch.”
  • Because my old boss from my former company once said “Come to Greece” and when I said I was worried about the rape percentages, he literally said, verbatim, “Just don’t wear anything that’s asking for it.”
  • Because my coworkers laughed at that and made jokes frequently at the expense of my gender, and also because I had to laugh in response to fit in.
  • Because I’m ultra competitive and always have been, and that’s led to many people–even people meaning well–saying I should be more feminine and care less about my score/abilities. That’s “for the guys.”
  • Because when a woman nerdrages, she’s being “a royal cunt” and “probably obese,” but when a guy nerdrages, it’s for the lulz.
  • Because you are not “like those other gamer girls.”

It’s stupid–sexism is, I mean. It feels like it doesn’t need to be said, because to me it’s just my life and I live it and I deal with it. But it does need to be said because it needs to stop someday and it will never stop if people don’t openly talk about it. I mean, just the other day someone complimented me by saying I was surprisingly good at League of Legends and that he’d assumed I would be bad because I was a woman.

And what was worse was, for a brief second, I honestly felt complimented before I felt outraged.

Girl, look at that body

by Ashelia. 0 Comments

So this is short–and sweet–but I was realizing the other day that there are people who will always belittle you, interlacing detraction with their compliments. It’s called negging. A good example might be someone saying you’d look prettier if you wore X or Y, if you smiled more, if you did your eyeliner differently. They’re essentially saying you’re attractive, but here’s how you could be better, and because you aren’t better, you’re not as good.

Anyway, here’s something people don’t like to tell other people: they do this for everything. So when someone comes up to you and says your website is cool, but here’s its major flaw, just read between the lines. What they’re saying is they love your site and they wish they had made it. They want to be a part of it. They’re trying to take your power away. And maybe their suggestion is good–I mean, I know I’d look prettier if I smiled all the time–but don’t delude yourself into hearing only their critique. Hear the praise they won’t say because they are afraid.

Don’t let people belittle you–or rather, if they do, don’t let it stick to you. If they’re belitting you in the first place, it means you’re doing something right.